Do you have “Habit Words?”

Many of us have little those expressions we use that can become part of our personality; common words and phrases we say often and people come to expect us to say them. It’s part of who we are and the people who love us notice it and love us for it. 

Sometimes we say things out of habit, almost reflexively or automatically, but it’s not what we really mean or want to say.

Do you ever do that?

Some of these might be your habit words:

“Sure!”

“Yes.”

“Oh, that’s OK.”

“That’s fine.”

“I can do it no problem.”

Sometimes we say “sure,” or “yes,” when we really mean “no,” or “I don’t want to.” But out of habit, we just agree.

How about these: 

“It doesn’t matter.” 

“Whatever you want.”

“I’m ok with what you decide.”

What if it does matter? What if you want something different? What if you’d like to decide?

Sometimes we say these words because we either don’t know what we really want or we don’t have the courage to assert ourselves and say it does matter or say what we do really want.

Do you say those things out of habit or do you say them because it’s what you actually mean?

Sometimes if we’re prone to people-pleasing, we’ll gauge our responses based on what we think the other person wants or needs us to say.

It can become habitual. We learn to say what the other person is expecting.

Sounds innocent enough, especially if we’re framing it this way: “Oh, I love them and I want them to be happy.” Or perhaps, “It’s ok, it’s more important to him/her than it is to me.”  

Maybe we say these “habit words” because we don’t want to upset, disappoint, or be rejected by someone else.

Keep in mind: what we say reflects what we think.

When we say words, it’s after we think a thought. Examining what we are saying will reveal what we are thinking.

Know your thoughts. Choose your words.

Something to consider: if you find yourself automatically saying certain “habit words,” what are you thinking before you say them?

Something else to consider: what might you want to say instead?

It’s so good to understand why we do what we do. 

Stay curious. Learn something about yourself.

Then consider making some decisions to move from habitual and automatic to intentional and deliberate!