I was thinking about a reality we all manage — there are two voices we tend to hear throughout the day.
They’re distinct from each other and, when we listen to them, lead to very different outcomes.
Paying attention to your own life is the secret to loving and enjoying the one you’ve got.
This isn’t about selfishness and it’s not about self-absorption or excessive self-preoccupation.
It’s about becoming the watcher of your own mind and life.
Learning how to regularly ask ourselves some important questions can help us do that:
- What’s going on?
- What do I want?
- What’s in the way?
- What will it look like when I’m “there?”
We can also become more mindful of our “Critic” and our “Coach.” Those two inner voices that are talking to us throughout the day and guiding how we think about everything. And as you know, that drives everything else, so it’s definitely worth paying attention to.
We all have that inner “Critic” that can drag us down or leave us defeated. It might have a negative tone, or remind us of what’s NOT possible and the things we can’t do, or perhaps bring up the ways we’ve failed in the past leaving us thinking, “Why bother, it won’t work.”
Are you familiar with this voice? I am. She’s not very encouraging, compassionate, or kind.
That other voice is our inner “Coach” who is asking us to think bigger than we might normally; to imagine all that’s possible. That one is more positive, more hopeful, and when we listen to it, we’re WAY more creative to come up with some really cool stuff, that we love and enjoy.
I love her; she’s awesome and always makes me better.
Our brains are always offering us thoughts. Sometimes they’re helpful. Sometimes they’re not.
When we believe what our brain offers us, and it’s coming from the “Critic,” it’s not usually helpful and it doesn’t feel good. Our tendency is to rush to push it away, avoid it, ignore it, or try to fix it right away without understanding what’s going on.
That sounds great at first because then we aren’t having to experience whatever emotion doesn’t feel good in that moment. But that “thing” we avoided, pushed away, or put an emotional bandaid on…it’s still lurking in the corner over there and is happy to remind us it is.
That is usually the “easier” thing to do; to not pay attention to it.
But what’s better is to figure out what’s happening first. We seek to understand, “What’s going on?”
Our Feelings: They are indicators. They tell us something. They’re like lights on the dashboard of your car. They light up and let you know something is happening.
If your fuel, tire pressure, or check engine lights come on, it’s an indicator alerting you to something else.
Our feelings are indicating something’s going on in our mind. It’s revealing a Thought we’re having. And THAT tells us everything we need to know to get started on understanding what’s going on.
Pay attention to the feelings you’re experiencing. Frustrated, angry, annoyed, resentful, scared, overwhelmed, hurt, disappointed. They are going to help you get to the root of what you’re thinking, which is guiding everything else you say and do.
Practice noticing. Not avoiding. Not ignoring. Not fixing or figuring it out. Just paying attention to what’s going on.
Stay curious. Don’t let that overwhelm you. Enjoy the process.
So how do we discover “What’s going on?”
1) Name your feeling 2) Ask yourself, “What was I just thinking?”
“I feel ________. What was I just thinking?”
For now, just watch your brain at work. It’s yours, so pay attention to it.
