“Perfect” isn’t a thing.

Did you know that?

It’s not. Perfect isn’t real.

Like Santa Claus. He’s not real either. Tooth Fairy. Easter Bunny. Unicorns. Not real.

Some disagree with that because they think “perfect” does exist. That’s ok.

But for fun, what if you agreed with it for a second?

What if you decided perfect isn’t really real; there’s no such thing?

How would you feel?

Maybe one of these feelings comes to mind: Relief. Relaxed. Peaceful. Content. Calm. Satisfied. Or if “Ahhh” was a feeling, then maybe that.

Here’s the thing: “Perfect” is only made up in my mind. And it’s made up in yours.

It’s according to what we each think it is. Which means it isn’t a standard that EVERYONE holds equally and lives by. 

You think it’s one thing. I think it’s another. We might agree on some points of a certain standard, or the “right” way, but not likely all of them. Perfection is something different to each of us. 

Like a good steak…perfection is just a little pink in the middle, right? But my friend who likes a little blood on the plate thinks her way is perfect…and she thinks I ruin my steak by cooking it longer.

Or the weather. I think 85 degrees with a warm breeze is perfect. My dad thinks that’s miserable. He’d rather live in Montana where the weather is perfect. Perfectly cold. I think that’s crazy. 

There’s no doubt perfectionism trips us up. When we have it in our mind things need to be “perfect” it really holds us back:

• We don’t try certain things because we want perfection
• We stay in fear because we can’t/don’t want to fail
• We take longer to complete things because of procrastinating perfectionism
• We are hard on ourselves and usually pretty “judgey” and critical of ourselves (and others when they fall short)
• We rarely, if ever, “measure up” to our own (unrealistic) standards or those of others

Here’s where it’s hard.

If perfect isn’t a real thing, then none of us can be perfect. If we’re not perfect, then we must be imperfect.

Well, that just doesn’t feel so good. At least not if we think perfect is a thing. 

If we need to be perfect, but perfect is unattainable, then coming to terms with being less than perfect could be difficult to understand and handle.

Perhaps. 

Unless we can embrace imperfect as a good thing and not a threat to our identity. 

Unless we can use other ways to describe ourselves and be more compassionate or forgiving when we fall short of a standard. Which we will. And so will others. Welcome to the human experience.

Imperfect means we’re human. We make mistakes. We have flaws. All of us. And we survive it. 

Imperfect means we get to learn new things. We get to show ourselves and others compassion and love. That always feels so good.

What if you saw yourself as unique instead? What if you believed who you are and the way you do things was good enough and unique from anyone else.

If you really believed that, how would it change things for you?

What would you think and feel when you:

• made a mistake?
• disappointed someone else?
• didn’t do something as well as you hoped?
• didn’t get the result you were looking for?
• were criticized by someone else for something you said or did?

If you believed you were good enough and unique in your own way, how would you feel about who you are and what you do?

I love words, so I looked up unique.

“the quality of being the only one of its kind; qualities to be celebrated in each individual; the quality of being particularly remarkable, special, or unusual.”

How are you unique?

Think about it.

Write your thoughts down. Look at them. Believe them. 

Let them be true for you all of the time; when you do well and when you make a mistake or fail at something.

Something else to consider: If you want to build a case that perfect can exist because it’s your standard you measure yourself by, but you don’t hold others to the same standard…you can.

I’ll offer this to you, however.

First, ask yourself if this is really true. Do you really only hold yourself to your standard? If perfect is a thing in your mind, you’re going to expect others to do the same thing because “If there’s a perfect way to do it, why wouldn’t they do it that way, too?” you’ll ask yourself. “If mistakes are unacceptable for me, they are for others as well,” is a belief perfectionists hold to, sometimes unaware.

Second, if you think perfect is a thing, then you will inevitably disappoint yourself. Probably more often than you wish. You’re human and you will make mistakes. Is that ok? What will you think of you when (not if) you fall short of your own (unrealistic) standard of perfection? And how will you handle it?

Just a couple of things to consider.

If you decide to believe “perfect” isn’t a thing, what word will you choose instead?

What word you choose will determine everything about how you live, work, and relate to others.